Did You Inherit Your Lack Of Business Growth?
Did You Inherit Your Lack Of Business Growth?
How inherited stories keep you behind on growing your business.
Photo by Eddi Aguirre
Inherited stories pop up everywhere when you’re building your own business. ⠀⠀
You’re worried that people will figure you out for the imposter that you are. ⠀
You don’t think you have enough interesting things to say to write a book. ⠀
You don’t think you’re talented enough to charge $200/hour. ⠀
These are not truths, they’re just beliefs we’ve concocted in our heads with the seeds planted by our inherited stories. ⠀⠀
Inherited stories are those moments, big and small that informed us of who we might be based on what our friends, family, and the people around us told us.
They’re inherited because we trust the influence of our community to tell us who we are, so we adopt these stories as truths — unfortunately, this doesn’t give us the opportunity to define what our personal story is and instead, defaults us to stitching ourselves together from the stories of others. ⠀
If you’re like me, the majority of my inherited stories haven’t done me any favors and it has only kept me under a ceiling, oceans away from my true potential.
That’s why it’s so important to me to reflect on my inherited stories and understand how it has negatively affected my ability to grow in my business. ⠀
An inherited story that I’ve been working on breaking myself away from is that you can’t be a soft, feminine woman while also being a shark when it comes to growing your business.
This balance is something I’ve been told my whole life that I can’t accomplish, but I know it’s not true and I’m working on reconditioning my belief.
Taking an honest look at your inherited stories and learning how to break your beliefs in them aren’t easy and take a bit of time. Here’s a step-by-step on how I go about breaking my bond to negative inherited stories —
1. What’s the anchor?
Let’s use the story that you’re not talented enough to charge $200/hour for your graphic design services. Ask yourself, where does this belief come from? What is the anchor for this belief?
Does it stem from your parents, who didn’t make more than $50/hour throughout their whole career? Does it come from your friends, who are always complaining about how broke they are and talk with extreme envy towards those who are well off financially?
2. What am I afraid of if I detach from this inherited story?
Once you’ve found your anchor(s), what are you afraid of losing if you detach yourself from this inherited story of not being able to charge $200/hour?
Are you worried that you’ll embarrass your parents because you were able to make more money than them at such a young age, when they couldn’t break the $50/hour barrier their whole careers?
If you make that much money, are you afraid that you won’t be able to relate to your friends anymore? (If that’s a fear, are they truly good friends to you if they let their jealousy get in the way of your friendship?)
This is a hard step, take some time to digest this one.
Understand your fears behind letting go of your inherited stories and confirm if you’re willing to let go. Some of us see our inherited stories but still possess fear in moving past them. This is fine, take your time — but if you want to let go, move on to the next step.
3. Where will my inherited story find me?
If you’ve committed to moving forward from your inherited story, take inventory of where your inherited story will pop up and potentially tempt you to go back to the way things were.
If you’re looking to recondition yourself to be that designer who can charge $200/hour, it’s likely that your old beliefs will resurface when someone tries to negotiate your pricing with you or asks for a discount during a sales call.
Anticipate these triggers and practice how you’ll respond during these situations. Mentally prepare yourself to stay committed to your new story when your old stories call you to come back to the dark side.
4. How can I help myself in my reconditioning?
Trailing the previous point, creating anticipatory behaviors is a great way to form a new habit around letting go of your old stories.
Other ways you can help your reconditioning journey is by setting reminders for yourself of the new mindset you’re trying to adopt — maybe you meditate on it every morning or you leave a note on your computer that serves as a daily reminder.
You should also be cognizant of avoiding situations, if possible, that will reverse your reconditioning journey.
If for example, you’re in a mastermind that is full of participants who are struggling with barely charging $80/hour for their work, you remaining in that group will probably trigger backtracking you don’t need to entertain on your $200/hour journey. In this case, it would be a good idea to leave the mastermind behind.
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