Networking For Grumpy Adults
Networking For Grumpy Adults
Optimized connecting for those with no time, patience, or attention to waste.
It’s hard enough to make new friends as an adult. It’s even harder to network and not feel grumpy about it — networking can feel like investing a whole lotta time for a whole lotta nothing, or that it’s hard to make promising relationships stick.
As a self-proclaimed grumpy businessperson who has gone to too many networking events and coffee meetings for one lifetime, I look at networking really differently now after doing it for 14 years.
With no time, attention, or patience to waste, filtering my networking for quality returns has been paramount to my sanity. Here’s how I go about networking now — probably something I would call business networking for grumpy adults:
Network up, not down
There’s nothing that makes a grumpy adult grumpier than spending a lot of time somewhere with not much takeaway to show for it. This is why I stopped going to public, free-for-all networking events and opt for curated, gated ones instead. Opting for curation also allows you to network up, or to find more balanced networking opportunities.
If you constantly find yourself giving to those you network with without much receiving — it’s likely that you’re spending too much time networking down rather than up. To hit the networking sweet spot, keep an eye on your balance with giving and receiving.
If you’re having trouble locating opportunities to network up, ask the colleagues you look up to and respect how & where they network. Be open to the possibility of paying for higher-value networking (this has been a game changer for me).
Respect time and ability for reciprocity
If I ask for 15 minutes of someone’s time, I prepare my questions for them in advance and don’t overstay my welcome. If you truly respect someone, one of the ways you can show that respect is by protecting their time.
Another sign of respect is a personal awareness of reciprocity — if I don’t feel like I can be as much of a resource to someone as they are to me, I always offer to pay for their time if it’s appropriate. Showing this level of proactive courtesy has allowed me to build relationships with people who are above my professional caliber and build a positive rapport with them.
On the flip side, I take everything I said above and use them as boundaries — I limit new video/call meetings to 15 minutes (if the relationship feels good, I invite them for longer opps to connect) and clearly let something know if they are asking for advice that I only offer as a paid consultation.
Opt for warm rather than cold connects
Great entrepreneurs usually know other great entrepreneurs.
If I’ve met someone that I professionally really admire and would like to get to know better, I invite them to a charity or after-work event and encourage them to bring a colleague or two.
Rather than trying to meet 3–5 new people at a networking event that don’t end up being long-term connections, I ask the people I already know and respect to introduce me to the people they know and respect.
Doubling down on who I already like always leaves me with meaningful interactions that cold networking doesn’t consistently give me.
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